Words by Elias Schendler PZ ’29 & Rhyus Goldman PZ ’26, Graphic by Xanthe McGraw SC ’29

Last Tuesday, I was about to lock in for my First Year Seminar when I received a text from a Pitzer senior whose name rhymed with mine: Rhyus Goldman, co-creative director of the Outback. 

The message was a photo of a drive-through diner with a sign exclaiming its abundance of donuts. Suddenly, I could no longer focus on the propaganda presentation I was supposed to give. My attention shifted; I had donuts on my mind. I had to engage with this digital discourse distraction. 

The text transcription read as follows: 

Goldman: @eliaseats needs to review this spot. Best breakfast in all of Claremont imo.

Schendler: Oh my lord I’ve heard of this place. And I see it’s open at 3am so I’ll be going then.

Goldman: Lmk if you want a ride. Anything for the food news.

Schendler: Might have to take you up on that. This could become my next article.

Goldman: If you would like any help in this extreme investigative journalism endeavor, im your guy. 

After discussing the possibility of off-campus field reporting at the following Outback meeting with Rhyus, it was go time. Friday morning was going to be a tasty one.  

I somehow managed to wake up at 9:40 a.m. that Friday to get breakfast with Rhyus at 9:45 a.m. Despite my sagging eyes, I did not fret, because once again, I had donuts on my mind. We drove east on iconic Route 66 in the liminal space between Claremont and Upland, California. As the mountains drew near, I spotted the place to be, Road Runner Donuts. Though we initially missed the turn to this breakfast haven, we soon sat with our mouths watering, looking into the window of the display rack. Before us laid a bouquet of glimmering maple logs, muffins, sausage somethings, apple fritters, and other cakey treats. Frankly, the entire storefront seemed to be a matter of Homer Simpson’s wet dreams. 

The environment of this compact coffee shop finds itself engulfed by Upland Automotives, next to my personal favorite Defense Arts Center, and adjacent to In-N-Out Burger. This is the type of place you’d find on Guy Fieri’s “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives:” a small business with food that is clearly crafted with the intention to be delicious. It is an Inland Empire staple that operates similarly to your run-of-the-mill McDonald’s or Dunkin’ Donuts. You want food, you get food; yet, the key difference being the true personal effort and clear compassion translated into the delicious nature of the food served at Road Runner Donuts.

We were greeted by the operator of the joint, Kim Len, who’s had her skin in the game for over 20 years. Len is a friendly badass who can whip up a breakfast sandwich in less than 10 minutes. She’s on it, and she’s been on it since 3 a.m. this morning, more locked in than anyone I’ve seen at Roberts. She and Rhyus have had an ongoing friendship since the end of his freshman year, when legend has it, the sugary Vietnamese coffee lured him in. In exchange for his business, she gives him half a dozen donut holes each visit. I can only fantasize about a relationship like theirs. 

As I asked Len questions, she slyly handed Rhyus his bag of donut holes (which he was reluctant to share) while still talking to me. Len’s favorite pastry is the bran muffin, and though I have yet to try it, I did sample the Vietnamese coffee, which I adored. This is a must-drink for anyone who needs a little help opening their eyes in the morning. It’s made of strong dark coffee, hot water, and sweet and condensed milk. 

As we conversed, Len said I should get the number seven: egg, ham, bacon, and cheese croissant sandwich. Sign me up. This is no McConnell croissant, let me tell you … It’s a face-sized croissant. When taking a bite, the pastry is so enormous, you can only see out of the periphery. Oh, and did I mention, it’s only $7.25. Good morning! 

Roadrunner Donuts has been open since 2000, serving California’s hardest-working people the best quality of breakfast while simultaneously being one of the hardest-working restaurants. It’s open 3 a.m. to 12 p.m. (for any of you late-night owls or early bird specials). Next time, instead of choosing Denny’s at dawn, go here instead. Its seemingly inconvenient placement on the map is deceptive; it is only a five-minute drive, a 10-minute bike ride, and if you really want to make the donuts worth it, a 20-minute run. This spot cultivates a diverse through traffic from regulars, blue collar workers, commuters, 5C students, and anyone who’s tired of corporate bullshit fast food. Len will welcome you with open arms.

Road Runner Donuts. 1801 West Foothill Boulevard. Be there, be round (like a donut).