By Sadie Wyatt PZ ’25
Hello loyal Outback readers! I know you’ve been scrolling through our site waiting, hoping, searching for a sign, or maybe, your sign. You’ve been longing for someone to say, “here is your fate for the next month of your life!” Well, look no further, because The Outback is here with your October Horoscope. And don’t worry, it is 100% accurate, 100% honest, and 100% here to get you through midterms. Take it as law. Or don’t. We don’t care… it’s your fate, after all.
Aries: March 20 – April 20
Hey there, fiery friends. The sun in Libra is just beaming on the relationship sector of your chart… Every horoscope says this, but your luck is better now than ever. So feel the peer pressure and strike up a conversation with that person standing in the corner of Dom’s Lounge who looks like they might be somewhat interested in holding a conversation. You never know where it could lead. Maybe even send that message to that person from CMC that your friends told you not to text. They don’t know better than your very specific, personalized horoscope! In the words of Vice’s monthly horoscope, “you may learn something profound about someone else’s perspective.” And that’s what I’ve been saying.
Taurus: April 20 – May 21
Okay, Taurus. I know you’re normally super grounded, but don’t worry, your friends will all be slightly alarmed by you this month. However, they’ll hold off saying anything because they know you’ll just blame it on midterms. In reality, Mars in Libra against Pluto might bring some extra frustration. Please don’t fear, though, because the solar eclipse in Libra on October 14th will give you a radical new start and fresh eyes for your everyday life. You’re so very close. The cacti will look spikier, the Cube will sparkle, and things will look up — just hold on.
Gemini: May 21 – June 21
Helloooooooooooo to both of your faces. Get it? Cause Geminis are… anyways.
October 8th: Mars in Libra squares off with Pluto and Venus. This could lead to some deep (and possibly rough) conversations about loyalty, values, and desires (freshmen, I’m looking at you. It’s a canon event at this time of year). But don’t you worry, Venus also enters Virgo, which could bring some warmth and care to your life! AKA, it’s going to be 90 degrees again. But maybe something else too! Maybe even while you’re in your brand-new bikini at the pool!
Cancer: June 21 – July 22
Cancer, Cancer, Cancer. You are feeling quite emotional this month, but what else is new. Hear me out, though, this is gonna be in a good way! The sun in Libra gives you some insight into yourself, your soul, and the things you value most. Make some new friends! Call your mom! Redecorate your room! Loft that bed… you’ll love it and have no regrets, I pinky promise. Trust. Especially if you are bringing someone home to it. I’ve never broken my ankle falling out of a lofted bed, so the data is in your favor.
Leo: July 22nd – August 23
What’s up Leos! I’m just so glad you took a break from strutting around and looking super hot to read our humble magazine. I am honored to serve you today with your horoscope, lovely lion.
October is looking 🆙 for you Leo. On October 20th, intellectual breakthroughs will persevere. Your professor will let you teach the class. That date you went on needed to be lectured about what Aristotle really meant. That essay will be light work. In fact, don’t even start it until the day before. Maybe even the night. Trust.
Virgo: August 23 – September 23
Virgoooo nation rise up. How are we doing? Virgo season is over and we are all losing our minds trying to get everything together. It’s not just me, right? Well don’t worry, things are looking much more organized Virgang. On October 10th, Pluto ends its retrograde, and some of our yearning anxieties with no explanation may shift out of our minds completely. Until you wake up in the middle of the night and remember.
Libra: September 23 – October 23
Welcome to Libra season baby! I bet you’re all feeling stupendous. Well, if I’m being entirely honest and accurate, you shouldn’t get too used to it. Your ruling planet Venus enters Virgo on October 8th and things might get heated. It’s okay to let it out and feel like the rest of us. Be decisive about something. Pet a chicken. Put a Grove House syrup in your coffee. Leave your comfort zone behind.
In other news, the solar eclipse on October 14th is in your sign, Libras! You are on a path to self-discovery, looking into yourself, and growing into a new you. Even if you didn’t go on the Balancing Club trip.
Scorpio: October 23 – November 22
Hiya Scorpions. This month is really looking rather interesting in your chart. Spend some time alone with yourself this October and figure out what it is you seem to be yearning for. Maybe even look beyond fall break. Look for new sources of inspiration in your life, and be honest with yourself and others!
Destiny may be on your side this month, Scorpio! Based on my deep research and also my intuition, you may have some transformation in a current relationship, or even the start of a new one. After all, I have heard that Halloweekend is the start of cuffing season…
Sagittarius: November 22 – December 21
Hello Sagittari. I know it’s been pretty good for you guys, with Sag star Taylor Swift in the spotlight these days, making a name for Sagittariuses everywhere. Things are always go go go with you guys, aren’t they? On October 23rd, though, when Scorpio season begins, you will finally get a chance to slow down and rest!
Your social life will also be off the charts this month Sag! Sun in Libra will bring new friends, new hobbies, and lots of teamwork. So put this magazine down and do your slides for that group project. Seriously. It’s not cool. You’ve gotten like 12 texts about it and it’s due tomorrow.
Capricorn: December 21 – January 20
Alrighty Capricorns, how are we doing? Sensitive and stubborn as always? Good, just checking. Well don’t you worry, that will not stop this month. You’ll even get to be in charge of people this month. I know you love that.
Seriously though, the sun in Libra is giving you lots of space to stand in the spotlight! Send out a student talk that could have been answered in a 2-second Google search, just for the kick of it! Try out for a play and force all of your friends to come and tell you you did amazing even though you made up half of your lines on the spot. Maybe even write an article for The Outback…
Finally, on October 12th, Pluto ends its retrograde in Cap and Mars enters Scorpio. It’s time to kick some of those bad habits (I’m looking at you “I only smoke cigs when I drink”) and begin a total transformation with ideal conditions for you to work on long-term goals. So start looking at grad schools. You’re already two years behind.
Aquarius: January 20 – February 18
Alright Aquarius! October is a time of exploration, expansion, and indulging yourself. There’s a solar eclipse in your air-sign sister Libra on October 14th, which may kick off an exciting adventure for you, an important message, or new revelations. Maybe get a jump start and start trying new things now to get ready. Get some fish from Collins. Order the Explosion at the Pit Stop. Use the quarters-only laundry machine! If it goes badly, no one will be able to tell anyways, since it’s f*cking impossible to know what you are ever thinking.
On October 22nd, Venus aligns with Jupiter in Taurus, which may bring a warm loving energy to your life. And what perfect timing! Fall is in the air! Burn that pumpkin candle, we won’t tell your RA.
Pisces: February 18 – March 20
Hey Pisces! Get those tears out of your eyes, we haven’t even started yet! Always the waterworks with you guys.
Ok Pisces, things may be rough these first few weeks of October. Mercury in Virgo, Mars in Libra, and Venus and Virgo have a bit of an ugly clash, which might lead to revelations of intense information, social miscommunications and drama, or even an ugly power struggle in your life. Hold on though, because the sun in Mercury on October 20th… will lead to some intense conversations, ego-clashing, and disrespect from those around you. Ok, I’ll admit, this month is a little rough for you. I get why you were crying now. Carry on.